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ACT I

             Ariel Knight, a once famous radio DJ, is out of work and looking for a job (Radio Sensation). We meet her at the National Association of Broadcasters Radio Convention in Las Vegas, where she is hired by sleazy radio tycoon Roger Tanner as the overnight gal at the Roger WilCo station in Indianapolis. Besides her responsibilities as a DJ, Ariel also agrees to be a companion to Roger for social and business functions when he’s in Indy.

             At Radio 1050 in Indianapolis (Good Morning), one of Roger’s partners and the station’s GM, Ted Wilson, is suffering from major anxiety attacks (It Used To Be). Ted is worried about Radio 1050’s poor ratings. He’s afraid his partners Roger and Ed will sell the station that he loves so much.

             Later that day, Ariel arrives and is shown the ropes by Kathy, “The Midday Mom.” After a confrontational start, Ariel realizes that maybe “Indian no place” won’t be so bad after all (Will I Ever Find That Special You?).

             Later, during her first night of work, Ariel and Ted bump into each other—literally. They recognize one another as former “radio sensations” whose stars have faded. As they commiserate over their pasts, there is a spark igniting between them (Look At Us Now).

             The next day we meet obnoxious DJ Stan Shannon, and his pals The Weekenders, in the men’s room as they try out their new “cans” (headphones) in a cacophony of clamor (Great Set Of Cans/Guys With Big Voices).

             As Stan and The Weekenders are rolled off stage, Ariel and Ted bump into each other again. Ted begins to apologize about getting too personal the night before, when Ariel cuts him off and invites him to lunch. Ted enters the office while Roger Tanner shows up to make his appeal to Ariel (I Love To Collect Pretty Things). After Ariel hears Roger’s pitch about “selling the Porsche and settling down,” she diplomatically tells him that she’ll take his offer “under advisement.”

             Roger is suspicious of Ariel when he enters a meeting with partners Ted and Ed. Roger and Ed tell Ted that an offer has been made to purchase Radio 1050. Ted is crushed and pleads with them not to do it (It’s Only Business).

 Later that month, out of the blue, Ariel’s older sister Melissa Jones, the goat herder hippie from Upstate New York, shows up (The ‘60s Were Good To Me). Melissa is tired of her throwback lifestyle and wants a change. She asks Ariel if she can stay with her for a while. Ariel gets Melissa settled in and is off to work. That night, like so many other nights, Ted arrives with a carafe of designer coffee for the two of them. Not being able to contain herself any longer, Ariel tells Ted she’s falling for him. Ted realizes he feels the same way but is unable to commit to a relationship because of all his problems. Ted has a major anxiety attack right on the spot. He promises they WILL get together when the time is right (I Just Can’t See Myself Without You).

             After Ted leaves, a very tipsy Melissa shows up at the station. After plying her with coffee, Ariel is told about Melissa’s once true love, Theodore Wojohowski, and how he had left her standing at the altar 20 years ago. As Melissa bursts into tears, Stan Shannon shows up and immediately makes advances on Melissa. Instead of being put off, Melissa finds the goofy DJ quite charming. Ariel has Stan take Melissa home since she is in no shape to drive. After they leave, Roger uncharacteristically shows up and tells Ariel how he’s fallen in love with her. She reluctantly tells Roger about her feelings for Ted. While he appears to take the news in stride as he faces Ariel, the audience sees a man consumed with anger.

             At the station the next morning, a very hung-over Melissa arrives to pick up her car keys. One of the office workers is hanging a company photo of Roger, Ted and Ed. When Melissa looks at the picture, she suddenly faints and collapses.

             Later that day, having heard all sorts of rumors about the station being on the block, the airstaff confronts Ted. Since he and Roger and Ed had made no final decision, Ted doesn’t know how to respond (I Heard/Rumors).

 ACT II

             It’s now after Thanksgiving and Roger, livid about Ted’s relationship with Ariel, wants to sell the station immediately. Partner Ed Cole tells Roger that he has negotiated a deal where they will make $1 million for every rating point the station can increase during the next ratings period. Roger loves this news, but has Ed agree that the station will be sold, no matter what. However, they lie to Ted and tell him they WILL NOT sell the station if he can get the ratings up by three points. Ted shows resolve and agrees to the deal.

             Meanwhile, the staff still questions whether they will have jobs at Christmas time. They ruminate about life in radio. When Ted joins them, he explains the deal with Roger and Ed and works to boost their morale (Radio/Radio Sensation Reprise).

             It’s later that day when Melissa shows up at the station again. Looking longingly at the photo on the wall, she sings her story (Where Were You?) As Roger enters the station, Melissa addresses him by name. He recognizes her as Ted’s once betrothed from college. When he finds out that Melissa is Ariel Knight’s sister (her real name is Susan Ariel Jones), he nearly weeps with joy. He knows that he can now force the break-up of Ted and Ariel when he tells her that Ted left Melissa standing at the altar 20 years ago. Ted enters the station and doesn’t recognize Melissa at first, but she certainly remembers him with a roundhouse punch to the kisser.

             Meanwhile, the staff gets busy promoting the station throughout the entire city (Out And About). While they are all happy, Ted and Ariel are not. Ted tries explaining what happened with Melissa all those years ago, but Ariel won’t hear any of it (Please Listen To Me).

             Back at the station, the ratings are in, and Radio 1050 is up a whopping seven points! Everyone is elated except Ted who is in a funk over his breakup with Ariel. The women of the staff try to cheer Ted up (Angels Everywhere).

             Melissa, undecided about whether or not she should go back to Upstate New York, confronts her new love interest, Stan. He informs her that he is “going to be a major market guy.” She tells him that it has been her “lifelong dream to live in a major market.” From that moment on, they are committed to each other.

             The next day, Audrey Jones, the girl’s mother, shows up after receiving a tearful phone call from Ariel (Baroness Of Bratwurst). While she waits in the lobby, Roger makes a date for coffee with Ariel. But his intentions are to whisk Ariel off to Vegas for a fast wedding. When he and Ed step out of the office, they are confronted by Audrey. We learn that 20 years ago Roger and Ed were hired by Audrey’s husband, Sven Jones, to sabotage Ted and Melissa’s wedding. They were paid “$100 and a keg of Stroh’s beer” for their evil deeds in the breakup of the engagement.

             When Melissa arrives, Roger quickly exits to make his date with Ariel. Audrey tearfully tells her eldest daughter that SHE too had taken part in the break-up. She explains that she told Ted that Melissa “had gotten cold feet and was taking off for Europe.” Melissa is shocked by this and asks why her own mother and father would break up her marriage? Audrey explains that Sven was a bigot and he didn’t want his daughter marrying “some Catholic Pollack from DEE-troit who wants to work in radio.”

             Meanwhile, Roger is getting Ariel drunk on Irish coffees at a local fern bar. He convinces her (actually, she convinces herself) to fly to Vegas with Roger. She calls the station to tell them her plans.

             At the Graceland Chapel in Las Vegas, Ariel and Roger are but a few words away from tying the knot. Suddenly, Ted, Audrey and Melissa burst into the chapel, having just flown in on the “brat plane.” Ted and Roger struggle for Ariel (Tell Me You Love Me). In the end, Roger reveals his true colors. He tells Ted that he OWNS Ariel and that HE will have her. Roger also announces that he and Ed are selling the station and taking the money. Ted smacks Roger once and nearly breaks his hand. But Ariel has better luck and knocks him out cold with one punch.

             Ariel and Ted realize how much in love they are as he proposes to Ariel (Look At Us Now/I Just Can’t See Myself Reprise).

 Back in Indianapolis, it’s the annual Christmas party. As the airstaff and workers decorate the station (I Love This Time Of Year), nobody is sure about their jobs. Word has filtered back about Roger and Ed’s deception. When Ted arrives, he looks melancholy. While he’s feeling joy over his engagement to Ariel, he knows he has to tell the staff that the station has been sold to a company that fires entire staffs and replaces them with computers. As he addresses the staff, Audrey arrives. In a booming voice she announces that SHE has bought Radio 1050 and is selling it to Ted and Ariel for “$100 and a keg of beer.” The crowd erupts in cheers.

             Just then, the ditzy newsperson rushes into the party waving a news bulletin. She reads to everyone that Roger WilCo President, Roger Tanner “has been arrested on charges of Big Amy...BIGAMY.” The bulletin goes on to state that Tanner had wives in every market Roger WilCo had stations in and is facing 25 years in prison. Everyone smiles as they gather together to sing the Finale.

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